Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal Chapter 15

Chapter 15Joshua and Balthasar rode into Kabul at a eon of night when hardly tightenthroats and whores were ab expose (the whores strikeering the cutthroat discount later midnight to promote business). The antiquated wizard had f anyen unconscious to the rhythm of his camels loping gait, an act that nearly baffled Joshua as oft as the whole demon business, as he worn-out(a) most of his time on camelback stressful non to upchuck seasickness of the desert, they address it. Joshua flicked the doddery worldly c at oncerns leg with the giving end of his camels bridle, and the magus came awake snorting.What is it? Are we there?Can you view as the demon, old man? Are we close enough for you to regain control?Balthasar closed his eyes and Joshua thought that he great power be dismissal to sleep again, except his hands began to tremble with some unseen effort. after a few pre direct moments he opened his eyes again. I cant fork.Well, you could tell that he was out.That w as like a wave of pain in my soul. Im not in intimate contact with the demon at completely times. We argon probably too far a authority still.Horses, Joshua said. Theyll be faster. Lets go wake up the perpetual master. Joshua led them through and through the streets to the stable where we had boarded our camels when we came to town to heal the blinded bandit. thither were no lamps burning inside, hardly a half-naked whore posed seductively in the doorway.Special for cutthroats, she said in Latin. Two for one(a), only when no refunds if the old man cant do the business.It had been so yen since hed testd the language that it took Joshua a second to respond. Thank you, except were not cutthroats, Joshua said. He stepped past her and pounded on the door. She ran a fingernail down his back as he waited.What are you? Maybe theres an otherwise special.Joshua didnt all the same look back. Hes a twain-hundred-and- vity-year-old wizard and Im either the messiah or a hopeless faker. Uh, yeah, I call in there is a special rate for fakers, that the wizard has to pay full price.Joshua could hear stirring inside of the stable masters house and a vocalization calling for him to cargo area his horses, which is what stable masters always say when they make you wait. Joshua turned to the whore and touched(p) her gently on the forehead.Go, and sin no more, he said in Latin.Right, and what do I do for a living accordingly, shovel shit?Just hence the stable master threw open the door. He was short and bowlegged and wore a long mustache that made him look like a dried-up catfish. What is so important that my wife couldnt handle it?Your wife?The whore ran her nail across the back of Joshuas recognise as she passed him and stepped into the house. Missed your chance, she said.Woman, what are you doing out here anyway? asked the stable master. mirth scurried out onto the landing place and pulled a short, broad-bladed black dagger from the folds of her robe. The ends of the rope ladder were swaying in front of her as the daemon descended. none comfort, I said, stretching out to pull her back into the cave. You cant hurt it.Dont be so sure.She turned and grinned at me, then ran the dagger twice everyplace the thick ropes on one side leaving it attached by only a few fibers, then she reached up a few rungs and sliced most of the way through the other side of the ladder. I couldnt believe how easily shed cut through the rope.She stepped back into the course and held the blade up so it caught the starlight. Glass, she said, from a volcano. Its a thousand times sharper than any frame in on an iron blade. She throw off the dagger remote and pulled me back into the enactmentway, and far enough so we could see the incoming and the landing.I could hear the monster coming closer, then a coarse make foot appeared in silhouette in the entrance, then the other foot. We held our breath as the monster reached the cut section of the ladder. Nearly a whole massive thigh was visible now, and one of his talonlike hands was reaching down for a new hold when the ladder snapped. Suddenly the monster hung sideways, swinging from his hold on a single rope in front of the entrance. He looked in good order at us, the fury in his yellow eyes replaced for a moment by confusion. His leathery bat ears rose in curiosity, and he said, Hey? accordingly the second rope snapped and he plunged out of our view.We ran out to the landing and looked over the edge. It was at least a thousand feet to the underprice of the valley. We could only see several hundred feet down in the dark, moreover it was several hundred feet of cliff face that was conspicuously monsterless.Nice, I said to gladden.We need to go. no.You dont think that did it?Did you hear anything hit bottom?No, I said.Neither did I, she said. We had better remove going.Wed left the water skins at the hap of the plateau and enjoyment wanted to get some from the kitchen but I d ge tged her toward the front entrance by the collar. We need to get as far away from here as we can. Dying of thirst is the least of my worries. Once we were in the main area of the fortress there was enough light to negotiate the hallways without a lamp, which was good, because I wouldnt let Joy stop to light one. As we rounded the stairway to the third direct Joy jerked me back, almost off my feet, and I turned near as mad as a cat.What? Lets get out of here I screamed at her.No, this is the last level with windows. Im not going through the front door not knowing if that thing is outside it.Dont be ridiculous, it would take a man on a fast horse a half hour to make it around from the other side.But what if it didnt fall all the way? What if it climbed back up?That would take hours. Come on, Joy. We could be miles away from here by the time he gets here from the other side.No She swept my feet out from on a lower floor me and I landed flat on my back on the stone floor. By the time I was on my feet again she had run through the front chamber and was hanging out the window. As I approached her she held her finger to her lips. Its down there, hold.I pulled her aside and looked down. Sure enough, the beast was looming in front of the iron door, waiting to grab the edge in its claws and rip it open as soon as we threw the bolts.Maybe it cant get in, I whispered. It couldnt get through the other iron door.You didnt understand the symbols all over that room, did you?I agitate my head.They were containment symbols to contain a djinn, or a demon. The front door doesnt bring forth any on it. It wont hold him back.So why isnt he coming in?Why quest for us when we will be survey right to him?Just then the monster looked up and I threw myself back from the window.I dont think he saw me, I whispered, spraying Joy with spit.Then the monster began to whistle. It was a happy tune, lighthearted, something like you might whistle while you were polishing the bleached sku ll of your latest victim. Im not stalking anyone or anything, the monster said, much louder than would rent been required had he been talking to himself. Nope, not me. Just standing here for a second. Oh well, no one is here, I guess Ill be on my way. He began to whistle again and we could hear footsteps acquire quieter along with the whistling. They werent moving away, they were reasonable getting quieter. Joy and I looked out the window to see the huge beast doing an exaggerated pantomime of walking, just as his whistle fizzled.What? I shouted down, angry now. Did you think we wouldnt look?The monster shrugged. It was worth a try. I figured I wasnt dealing with a angiotensin converting enzyme when you opened the door in the first place.Whatd he say? Whatd he say? Joy intone cigarette me.He said he doesnt think youre very smart.Tell him that Im not the one who has spent all these years locked in the dark playing with myself.I pulled back from the window and looked at Joy. Do you think he could fit though this window?She eyed the window. Yes.Then Im not going to tell him. It might make him angry.Joy pushed me aside, stepped up on the windowsill, turned around and faced me, then pulled up her robe and peed backward out the window. Her balance was amazing. From the growling below, I gathered that her accuracy wasnt bad either. She correct and jumped down. I looked out the window at the monster, who was shaking urine from its ears like a wet dog.Sorry, I said, language problem. I didnt know how to translate.The monster growled and the muscles in its shoulders tensed beneath the scales, then it let loose with a punch that sent its fist completely through the iron skin of the door.Run, Joy said.Where?The passage to the cliff.You cut the ladder.Just run. She pulled me along behind her, guiding us through the dark as she had before. Duck, she shouted, just a second after I realized that wed entered the smaller passageway by using the mad stone-ceiling-sensing nerves in my forehead. We made it halfway down the passageway to the cliff when I heard the monster hit and curse.There was a pause, then a horrible grinding noise so eager that we had to shield our ears from the assault. Then came the smell of burning flesh.Dawn broke just as Joshua and Balthasar rode into the canyon entrance to the fortress.How about now? Joshua asked. Do you feel the demon now?Balthasar shook his head balefully. Were too late. He pointed to where the great round door had once stood. Now it was a pile of bent and broken pieces hanging on what was left of the huge hinges.What in the name of Satan have you done? Joshua said. He jumped off his horse and ran into the fortress, leaving the old man to follow as best he could.The noise in the narrow passageway was so intense that I cut pieces of cloth from my sleeves with Joys dagger and stuffed them in our ears. Then I lit one of the fire sticks to see what the monster was doing. Joy and I stood there, gaped-jawed, wa tching as the beast worried away at the stone of the passage, his claws moving in a blur of speed, throwing mass and dust and stone shards into the air as he went, his scales burning from the friction and growing back as fast as they burned away. He hadnt come far, perhaps five feet toward us, but eventually he would widen the passage enough and pull us out like a badger mining termites out of the nest. I could see now how the fortress had been built without tool marks. The creature moved so quickly literally wearing away the walls with his claws and scales that the stone was polished as it was cut.We had al filmy made deuce ascents up what was left of the ladder to the top of the plateau, only to have the monster come around and chase us back down it before we could get to the road. The second time he pulled the ladder up, then returned to the interior of the fortress to resume his hellish digging.Ill jump before Ill let that thing get me, I said to Joy.She looked over the edge of the cliff into the endless darkness below. You do that, she said. Let me know how it goes.I will, but first Ill pray. And I did. I prayed so hard that beads of sweat popped out on my forehead and ran over my tightly closed eyes. I prayed so hard that even the constant riot of the monsters scales against the stone was drowned out. For a moment there, I was sure that it was just me and God. As was his habit with me, God remained quiet, and I suddenly realized how frustrated Joshua must have been, asking always for a path to follow, a course of action, and being answered by nothing but silence.When I opened my eyes again bottom had broken over the cliff and light was streaming into the passageway. By full daylight the demon was even scarier. There was blood and gore all over him from the massacre of the girls, and even as he relentlessly wore away at the stone, flies buzzed around him, but as each tried to light on him it died instantly and barbarous to the floor. The stench of rotting flesh and burning scales was almost overwhelming, and that alone nearly sent me over the side of the cliff. The beast was only three or four cubits out of reach from us, and each few minutes he would rear back, then throw his claw forward to try and grab at us.Joy and I huddled on the landing over the cliff face, looking for any purchase, any handhold that would get us away from the beast up, down, or sideways across the cliff face. The dismay of heights had suddenly become very minor.I was beginning to be able to feel the snapshot from the monsters talons as he lunged into the narrow opening at us when I heard Balthasars deep mysterious shout from behind the beast. The monster filled the whole opening so I couldnt see behind it, but he turned around and his spade-tipped tail whipped around us, nearly lacerating our skin as it passed. Joy drew the glass jab from her robe and slashed at the tail, nicking the scales but apparently not create the monster enough trouble to turn around.Balthasar will tame you, you son of a shit-eating lizard Joy screamed.Just then something came shooting through the opening and we ducked out of the way as it sailed into space and fell out of sight to the canyon floor, screeching like a falcon on the dive.What was that? Joy was trying to squint into infinity to see what the monster had thrown.That was Balthasar, I said.Oops, said Joy.Joshua yanked the great spade-tipped tail and the demon swung around with a ferocious snarl. Joshua held on to the tail even as the demons claws whistled by his face.What is your name, demon? Joshua said.You wont live long enough to say it, said the demon. He raised his claw again to strike.Joshua yanked his tail and the demon froze. No. Thats not right. What is your name?My name is Catch, said the demon, dropping his branch to his side in surrender. I know you. Youre the kid, arent you? They used to talk about you in the old days.Time for you to go home, Joshua said.Cant I eat those two outside on the ledge first?No. Satan awaits you.They are really irritating. She peed on me.No.Id be doing you a favor.You dont want to hurt them now, do you?The demon laid his ears back and bowed his gigantic head. No. I dont want to hurt them.Youre not angry anymore, Joshua said.The monster shook his head, he was already bent nearly double in the narrow passage, but now he prostrated himself before Joshua and cover his eyes with his claws.Well, Im still angry Balthasar screamed. Joshua turned to see the old man covered with blood and dirt, his frock torn from where his broken bones had ripped through them on impact. He was healed now, only minutes after the fall, but not much better for having made the trip.You survived that fall?I told you, as long as the demon is on earth, Im immortal. But that was a first, hes never been able to hurt me before.He wont again.You have control over him? Because I dont.Joshua turned around and put his hand on the demons head. This evil creature o nce beheld the face of God. This monster once served in heaven, obtained beauty, lived in grace, walked in light. Now he is the instrument of suffering. He is hideous of aspect and twisted in nature.Hey, watch it, said the demon.What I was going to say is that you cant institutionalize him for what he is. He has never had what you or any other human has had. He has never had big will.That is so sad, said the demon.One moment, Catch, I will let you taste that which you have never known. For one moment I will grant you free will.The demon sobbed. Joshua took his hand from the demons head, then dropped his tail and walked out of the narrow passageway into the fortress hall.Balthasar stood beside him, waiting for the demon to emerge from the passageway.Are you really able to do that? Give him free will?Well see, wont we?Catch crawled out of the passageway and stood up, now just ducking his head. great(p) viscous tears rolled down his scaled cheeks, over his jaws, and dripped to the s tone floor, where they sizzled like acid. Thank you, he growled.Free will, Balthasar said. How does that make you feel?The demon snatched up the old man like a rag doll and tucked him under his arm. It makes me feel like throwing you off the fucking cliff again.No, said Joshua. He leapt forward and touched the demons chest. In that instant the air popped as the vacuum where the demon had stood was filled. Balthasar fell to the floor and groaned.Well, that free will thing wasnt such a great idea, said Balthasar.Sorry. Compassion got the better of me.I dont feel well, the magus said. He sat down hard on the floor and let out a long dry rasp of breath.Joy and I came out of the passage to find Joshua bent over Balthasar, who was actively aging as we looked on.Hes two hundred and sixty years old, Joshua said. With Catch gone, his age is catch up.The wizards skin had gone ashen and the whites of his eyes were yellow. Joy sat on the floor and gently cradled the old mans head in her lap.Wh eres the monster? I asked.Back in hell, Joshua said. Help me get Balthasar to his bed. Ill explain later.We carried Balthasar to his bedchamber, where Joy tried to pour some broth into him, but he fell asleep with the bowl at his lips.Can you help him? I asked no one in particular.Joy shook her head. Hes not sick. Hes just old.It is written, To every thing there is a season, Joshua said. I cant change the seasons. Balthasars time has come round at last. Then he looked at Joy and raised his eyebrows. You peed on the demon?He had no right to complain. Before I came here I knew a man in Hunan whod pay good bills for that.Balthasar lingered for ten more days, toward the end looking more like a skeleton wrapped in old leather than a man. In his last days he begged Joshua to forgive him his vanity and he called us to his bedside over and over to tell us the same things, as he would forget what hed told us only a few hours before.You will find Gaspar in the Temple of the Celestial Buddha, in the mountains to the east. There is a map in the library. Gaspar will teach you. He is truly a wise man, not a charlatan like me. He will help you become the man you need to be to do what you must do, Joshua. And Biff, well, you might not turn out terrible. Its cold where you are going. Buy furs along the way, and trade the camels for the woolly ones with two humps.Hes delirious, I said.Joy said, No, there really are woolly camels with two humps.Oh, sorry.Joshua, Balthasar called. If nothing else, remember the three jewels. Then the old man closed his eyes and stopped breathing.He dead? I asked.Joshua put his ear to the old mans heart. Hes dead.What was that about three jewels?The three jewels of the Tao forbearance, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.Sounds wonky, I said.Compassion, Joshua whispered, nodding toward Joy, who was silently crying over Balthasar.I put my arm around her shoulders and she turned and sobbed into my chest. What will I do now? Balthasar is dead. each of my friends are dead. And you two are leaving.Come with us, Joshua said.Uh, sure, come with us.But Joy did not come with us. We stayed in Balthasars fortress for another six months, waiting for winter to pass before we went into the high mountains to the east. I cleaned the blood from the girls quarters while Joy helped Joshua to translate some of Balthasars ancient texts. The three of us shared our meals, and occasionally Joy and I would have a tumble for old times sake, but it felt as if the life had gone out of the place. When it came time for us to leave, Joy told us of her decision.I cant go with you to find Gaspar. Women are not allowed in the monastery, and I have no desire to live in the backwater village nearby. Balthasar has left me much gold, and everything in the library, but it does me no good out here in the mountains. I will not stay in this tomb with only the ghosts of my friends for company. Soon Ahmad will come, as he does every spring, and I will have him help me take the treasure and the scrolls to Kabul, where I will buy a large house and convey servants and I will have them bring me young boys to corrupt.I wish I had a plan, I said.Me too, said Josh.The three of us celebrated Joshuas eighteenth birthday with the traditional Chinese food, then the beside morning Joshua and I packed up the camels and prepared to head east.Are you sure youll be all right until Ahmad comes? Joshua asked Joy.Dont worry about me, you go learn to be a Messiah. She kissed him hard on the lips. He squirmed to get loose from her and he was still blushing as he climbed onto his camel.And you, she said to me, you will come to see me in Kabul on your way back to Israel or I will put such a curse on you as youll never be free of it. She took the little ying-yang vial full of poison and antidote from around her neck and put it around mine. It might have seemed a stran ge gift to anyone else, but I was the sorceresss apprentice and it seemed perfect to me. She tucked the black glass knife into my sash. No matter how long it takes, come back and see me. I promise I wont keystone you blue again.I promised her and we kissed and I climbed on my camel and Joshua and I rode off. I tried not to look back, once again, to another woman who had stolen my heart.We rode a half a furlong apart, each of us considering the past and future of our lives, who we had been and who we were going to be, and it was a couple of hours before I caught up with Joshua and broke the silence.I thought of how Joy had taught me to read and speak Chinese, to mix potions and poisons, to cheat at gambling, to perform slight of hand, and where and how to properly touch a woman. All of it without expecting anything in return. Are all women stronger and better than me?Yes, he said.It was another day before we spoke again. get off the ground IIICompassionTorah Torah TorahWAR CRY OF TH E KAMIKAZE RABBIS